Letter from a Concerned Parent

Allison Moore, post #1: Censored Texts
Letter from a concerned parent

Dear School Board People,
Well I don’t write letters much now that Mitch is outta jail, ya know, but I just gotta say I'm really just fit to be tied and just sick of hearing all about this. I'm proud to say the whole Harry Potter craze passed my kids right by, they're good kids. Don’t care none about books, and if they did you can be darn sure I'd have none of that trash in my house.
Just ain't healthy for a kid to be spending that much time reading. Watch some freakin TV and eat a bag o chips like a normal person fer chrissakes. And what huge books they are! Enormous books! Would you give yer kid a freaking gun? Yeah, well, we did too, it’s a free country, part of being American, but before he turns 12? Books that big, and heavy, and those hard covers and all, well, you're just asking for some broken bones, or a concussion, like the time Ashlee's pompoms got caught in her cheer briefs and she fell offa that cheerleadin human pyramid.. right on her head, WHAM! Y'ad never think that much blood could come outta someone's ears. So nice of those boys from the football team to take her home, what with her parents gone and all. Another thing- it's that big, and for the kids and there aren’t even any pictures!? Just seems a little uppity for that what's her name, JFK Rowling, yeah, to go and write books bigger than the bible. Yeah, and one just wasn’t enough either. What, is she trying to outdo God or something? She's not even American. And you tell me what that kinda weird foreign thing is doing in our schools. What the hell could take that many freakin words to say--but, well, but ill tell ya why there's no pictures! They just can't show that kind of thing…if they did it never woulda gotten published. Well I wish they had tried to put some pictures in that mess, ha! I mean, I know. I tell ya, I've seen a few virgins sacrificed in the woods in my time, I know what a mess it is what with all the dead goats, and the orgies, singed pubic hair and those flammable long black robes with the pentagrams and all… I know enough to know I don’t want my kid to see none of it. Timmy don’t need to know nothing bout it, now that we've found Jesus... Lord knows what happened when his sister walked in on all 13 of us…
But I tell ya, ya know I did some reading, yeah how do ya like that, and ya know what the whole stinking problem is, it ain't the books- no, this is bigger than the books. And it's bigger than this town. It’s the source of all this nonsense, and ya know it's just like a bad septic tank. I'll tell ya what it is- it's that damn constitution. What with the microwaves and AOL and technologies and all, its just not right that were supposed to be following something so freakin ancient that ya can barely read the damn thing, And you know, I tried reading it, and there's not too much I understood but I understood enough… and they talk about all kindsa powers! I've got half a mind to call Fox news! Judicial powers, powers that the congress supposedly has- well if they're so freakin magical what do I waste my time voting fer? That’s what I'd like to know. That constitution's crazy stuff- hardly makes sense- they talk about ya know a house right, but then they talk about all these branches too, so are they inside or outside in the trees fer chrisssakes? The other half of that crap sounds like the names of Susie's freaking meds. Well it's no wonder so many of the kids are all screwed up. That’s what the country's coming to. Terrorists and illegals everywhere, all that monkey evolution stuff in their science class, men runnin around dressed like women, wizards in the government!! And all my tax dollars paying for all of it. And I thought this was a God-fearin Christian country.

(Professor Newman posted this on Allison's behalf)