How real is Holden?

Just like the Crucible, The Catcher In the Rye was one of the books my high school education skipped over. As we were discussing in class, a lot of students identified with the character more in their youth, which is why reading it in high school was so beneficial to them. Unfortunately, I cannot go back in time and read this text when I may have had more of a connection to Holden Caulfield. As a result, I don’t feel much of a connection to him. I feel like he has a lot of opportunity that he is just throwing away with his actions. I understand some of his motivation, I’m sure living in that world can be frustrating, but there are fake people everywhere.
Holden seems preoccupied with small details in life, hygiene, Jane, fake people, his hat…etc. This seems to divert him from a real look at what his life is and where he is going. I was constantly wondering how he could judge others so harshly when he was not looking at his own actions. Especially with regard to Jane, if he wants to be true and not a phonie shouldn’t he talk to her, at the very least not call other girls when he is so far from interested in them. How can Holden judge Stradlater for womanizing when he hits on so many women all of the time? I understand that Holden and Jane have a special bond, and he does not want to see her get hurt. But then shouldn’t he consider that the women he is calling and trying to meet up with may have a man just like he is to Jane in their lives? Holden’s own fake behavior also irked me when Holden would talk about D.B. and his career. Holden watches movies, and as a result he supports the work that D.B. does. Why does he rail against it?
I do not mean for this post to be a rant against Holden. I have been enjoying the book, and can see why it is a classic. Still, there is such a distance between me and Holden that I frequently find his actions irritating.